


Still I Find You Next To Me

by captainbane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Making Up, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-Break Up, just a lot of kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 10:13:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14210901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainbane/pseuds/captainbane
Summary: “Can I kiss you?“, Alec eventually asked not really wanting to break the comfortable silence around them.“Oh Alexander...“, Magnus whispered and brushed his thumb lightly over Alec's bottom lip. “You never have to ask.“(***)set after the alley scene in 2x10.





	Still I Find You Next To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Sadly unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own.  
> The fic title is taken from "Next To Me" by Imagine Dragons.
> 
> [edited]

“I'm glad to be home“, Alec said, as they made their way into the loft.  
“I'm glad _you're_ home“, Magnus said in return and reached out to interlock their fingers.

Alec took a deep breath like he was finally able to breathe again and gently rubbed his thumb over the back of Magnus' hand.

“I know it's only been a few days, but… _by the Angel_ , I've missed you. I hate fighting with you“, Alec whispered, a slight blush painting his cheeks.

A small smile tugged at Magnus' lips as he looked at his Shadowhunter lovingly. He raised his hand to gently cup Alec's jaw.

“I've missed you too darling. Let's agree to always be honest with each other and to hear the other out, no matter how difficult it might be. We can figure out the rest together“, Magnus said and Alec closed his eyes at that, leaning into his lover's touch.

“I'd like that” They smiled at each other for a while, simply enjoying the moment.

“Can I kiss you?“, Alec eventually asked not really wanting to break the comfortable silence around them.

“ _Oh Alexander_...“, Magnus whispered and brushed his thumb lightly over Alec's bottom lip. “You never have to ask.“

Alec smiled at that and cupped Magnus' hand in his own. He turned it around to gently kiss the palm of Magnus' hand and Magnus felt the pieces of his broken heart slowly mending together. He knew Alec was hurting after Magnus had left the Institute that night but it never occurred to him just how badly. Alec then leaned down to kiss him, silencing Magnus’ thoughts.

The kiss was slow; a soft and tender brush of lips. They moved carefully as if they were afraid to break one another. Alec didn't realise they were moving at all until his legs hit the side of the bed. He broke the kiss just so that he could look at Magnus properly again. The love and gratitude he felt in that moment reflected in Magnus' eyes and he couldn't help but tear up a little at the sight. He closed his eyes quickly and pulled Magnus into another breathtaking kiss.

With shaking fingers Alec tried to open the buttons on Magnus' shirt but failed miserably. He quietly cursed between kisses which caused Magnus to burst into giggles. He stilled Alec's hands by trapping them between his own. He beamed up at him and Alec felt himself falling in love all over.  
Magnus let go of Alec's hands to strip himself out of his clothes. Alec could only watch and Magnus loved every second of it.  
He loved the way his eyes darkened with lust, his mouth agape, lips pink and kiss-swollen, hair rumpled.  
_What a sight for sore eyes_ , Magnus thought dreamily. He smirked at his lover and gently pulled him down on the mattress after he took Alec's shirt off and tossed it on the ground.

“These...“, Magnus said and pulled lightly at Alec's pants, “need to get off“.  
Alec chuckled and helped Magnus to get rid of his pants. Magnus then began kissing a trail down Alec's body. He kissed every rune, every scar, every part of skin that he could find and Alec writhed beneath him.

“Magnus..“, Alec sighed, “I want you”.

Magnus gazed into his lover's eyes for a moment, allowing himself to get lost in those beautiful hazel eyes. "You have me."

Alec let out a strangled sound at that and Magnus moved back up in an instant, lovingly kissing the other one's nose.

“Alexander“, Magnus murmured as he watched Alec’s chest rise and fall frantically, his eyes shut tightly.  
“Love? What's wr-“

  
“I'm sorry“, Alec interrupted, the sound barely audible.

Magnus stopped dead. When the Shadowhunter opened his eyes without really looking at his boyfriend, Magnus saw the tears glistening in those deep hazel eyes.

“Magnus I- I am so…so sorry for lying to you, for...for everything I've put you through..“, he sobbed, the words caught in his throat. „I can’t even b-begin to say…“  
“Stop it Alexander“, Magnus said and he felt his own tears burning behind his eyelids. Alec turned his head sideways, unable to look at his boyfriend.

“Sweetheart...“, he tried again and Alec moved benath him. Magnus looked down at him, his heart beating painfully in his chest. Alec looked so vulnerable and small, he barely recognised him.  
The warlock let himself down on Alec's body so that they would be chest to chest, not an inch of space left between them. He let one hand wander in Alec's hair while the other was gently caressing the younger one's face. When he felt Alec relax under his touch, he spoke again.

“Can you look at me, Alexander?“  
Alec whimpered and Magnus wished he could take all of his pain away.

“There's nothing to be sorry for“, Magnus said and leaned down to press a soft kiss to Alec's damp cheek. "But I forgive you if that is what you need to hear“ He pressed a kiss to the corner of Alec's mouth, “I love you“, his lips brushing against Alec's. “And there is _nothing_...“, he whispered while he lovingly kissed the corner of Alec's eye, “that can make me love you less."

Magnus' thumb slowly caressed the frown between his lover's eyebrows in order to ease the tension there. Alec exhaled deeply, not realising he had been holding his breaththe whole time.

“Look at me please“, Magnus begged and Alec obeyed this time. He looked up at Magnus through thick and wet eyelashes and felt his heartbeat quicken. He had to blink a few times, not prepared for the sight of Magnus' cat eyes staring down at him. _They are so beautiful_ , he thought. He would never get tired of looking at them.

“You, Alec Lightwood, are the great love of my long life. And it doesn't matter how many people there were before you and it won't matter whether there is going to be a person after you because you are the one and I am going to love you for the rest of my immortal life. Nothing can ever change that“.

Alec's breath hitched at that and he reached out a hand to cup the side of Magnus' face. When he saw how Magnus' eyes started to water, he felt his heart ache for him. He didn't realise he was crying again until Magnus leaned down to kiss away a stray tear on his cheekbone.

“You know that you're it for me too, right?” Alec said when he felt like he could trust his voice again. “Shadowhunters only really fall in love once in their life and I already know that I want to spend the rest of mine with you. I know I can't promise you forever, hell I can't even promise you the next week. But what I can promise you is that I will not leave until then and that I will love you with all my heart until the day it stops beating. The Angel knows I will love you even long after that”.

Magnus smiled a sad smile at that. He knew that he would lose Alec one day. He knew that he could lose him tomorrow. But even the thought of that would overwhelm him with a feeling of grief unlike anything he ever felt before. He couldn't bear it. He could spend a lifetime with Alec and it still wouldn't be enough. Nothing could prepare him for the loss he would feel. Magnus knew in his heart that he would never be ready for the day he would have to say goodbye forever.  
That horrible realisation crashed down on him at once, shaking him to his very core. He closed the remaining distance between them and hid his face in the crook of Alec's neck, breathing in the familiar scent, letting the feeling of safety consume him and wash away the darkness that was threatening to capture his heart.

“I love you“, he whispered into Alec's skin over and over again, like a prayer.

Alec wrapped his arms protectively around the warlock's body, the thought of having to leave Magnus one day tugging at his heart.  
“I know how you feel right now. I feel the same way“, he said, voice thick with tears. “But I love you- for as long as you’ll have me“.  
Alec promised and Magnus relaxed in his arms. He pulled himself up on his elbows to gaze down at his boyfriend and Magnus’ features softened visibly.

“Then there is no way I am ever letting you go“, Magnus reassured him, a sweet smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Alec stared up at his boyfriend, golden eyes full of love and trust and he knew then and there that he would gladly spent the rest of his life loving Magnus. He would cross the world and bare the oceans if that’s what it took to show him. He saw Magnus‘ gaze flicker to his lips and his smile grew even wider at that. He puckered his lips, asking to be kissed and Magnus went willingly.  
They smiled against each others lips, barely kissing, before Magnus decided to lean down to press a chaste kiss against Alec's deflect rune. He traced the form with his tongue before he bit down and Alec moaned at that, his fingers gripping into the flesh of Magnus' back.

Their hearts still felt heavy from their earlier confessions and there was a burning ache in their chests that just wouldn't seem to vanish, but they were alive and together and that was honestly more than they ever hoped they would get. They would be okay because at the end of the day they would always have each other.

It was then that Magnus started to kiss him again properly; slowly, lovingly. There was no rush really. All that mattered was them, feeling and breathing, whispering sweet nothings and declarations of love into each other's ear. They couldn't tear their eyes away, but if they did, it was only to press hungry kisses to each other's skin.

They moved in sync, a mess of lips and limps, and it still didn't feel close enough. Alec clung to Magnus harder, nails pressing into skin, his head tucked into his neck and the warlock was there to catch him, to hold him, to ground him and Alec melted right into it.

Their desperate kissing slowed down after a while, both too tired to let it go further. They held each other close, Magnus softly kissing the top of Alec's head and reached out to trace his fingers around a small bruise on Alec's hip. He loved seeing Alec like this, so unguarded and free, covered in Magnus' love marks. He admired the way they stood in contrast to the Shadowhunter's pale skin.

“I don't know about you love, but I could definitely use a drink and a warm bath right now“ He gazed up at his boyfriend who looked at him with a fond expression.

“Just a few more minutes“, Alec whispered, "I don't want to let go of you yet" He snuggled even closer, his hand coming to rest across Magnus' chest; right above his heart.

Alec thought about everything they had to go through in the past. There were many bumps along the road, obstacles they had to overcome. He knew that they were always going to face challenges and that they had tough times ahead.

But right here, right now, loving him was easy.  
Falling in love with Magnus was by far the easiest thing Alec‘s ever done.

**Author's Note:**

> Please bear in mind that I am not a native English speaker so I apologize for any mistakes.  
> Comments and criticism are always welcome though. I am happy to learn and improve. Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
